The term ‘non-directive play therapy’ sounds a bit technical, and if you’re unfamiliar with therapeutic approaches for children, you might feel a bit lost about what your child will experience or whether this is the right support for them.
Perhaps you’re wondering whether playing can really help with your child’s anxiety, the behavioural difficulties that have been causing concern at school, or the emotional struggles they’re facing at home.
You might worry that without clear direction from the therapist, the sessions won’t achieve anything meaningful, or that your child might just mess about rather than working on their difficulties. These concerns make sense, especially when you’re trying to make the best decision for your child’s wellbeing.
This article explains what non-directive play therapy involves, how the approach works therapeutically, and why it might be particularly suited to your child’s needs.
What ‘Non-Directive’ Actually Means
Non-directive simply means your child leads the session and chooses what to do with their time, whilst the therapist creates a safe space and follows where your child takes them.
Your child might spend the whole time painting, playing with puppets, building something with clay, or creating scenes in a sand tray. The therapist doesn’t arrive with a lesson plan or specific activities they want your child to complete. Instead, they provide a range of creative materials and let your child decide what feels important to explore during that session.
This doesn’t mean your child can do whatever they want without any boundaries.
The therapist maintains clear limits around time, safety, and treating the materials respectfully, which actually creates security for your child rather than restricting them. These boundaries help your child feel safe enough to explore difficult feelings, knowing the therapist will keep the session contained and manageable.
The approach is based on decades of research showing that children often work through their difficulties most effectively when they can express themselves at their own pace, in their own way.
In directive therapy, by contrast, the therapist plans activities and teaches specific skills, perhaps using worksheets or structured games to help your child learn coping strategies. Both directive and non-directive approaches have value depending on what your child needs. Some children respond better to clear structure and guidance, whilst others need the freedom to process their experiences symbolically through play they control themselves.
Inside a Non-Directive Play Therapy Session
Understanding what happens during your child’s sessions can help you feel more confident about the approach and support your child between appointments.
What Your Child Experiences
Your child walks into a room where toys, art materials, and creative resources are laid out and ready for them.
They’ll see things like paints and paper, modelling clay, a sand tray with miniature figures, puppets and soft toys, musical instruments, dressing-up clothes, and construction materials. The session lasts 30-40 minutes and happens at the same time and place each week, which helps your child feel secure because they know what to expect. This consistency matters, especially if your child feels anxious or finds change difficult.
What the Therapist Does
The play therapist stays present and engaged with your child throughout the session, but they don’t direct the play or suggest what your child should do.
They might sit on the floor with your child, perhaps picking up a puppet if your child hands them one, but they follow your child’s lead rather than steering them towards particular activities. The therapist reflects feelings they notice, commenting on what they see happening in your child’s play: “That puppet seems really angry right now” or “You’ve made all the toy animals hide away today.”
They don’t ask why or try to interpret what your child’s play means. This skilled attention and acceptance is what makes the sessions therapeutic rather than just supervised playtime.
A child who’s worried about family arguments might spend several sessions playing with toy figures, having them shout at each other and then making the child figures hide in corners.
The therapist won’t stop this or ask the child to explain what’s happening. Instead, they simply observe and reflect: “The little ones don’t like all that noise, they want to be somewhere quiet.” Through this repeated play, your child processes feelings about home life without having to discuss it directly, which often feels safer than being asked questions about what’s troubling them.
Why Playing Helps Your Child
Children aged roughly five to eleven naturally express themselves through play before they can articulate complex feelings in words.
Playing isn’t just entertainment for your child, it’s how they make sense of experiences, work through difficulties, and communicate things they don’t yet have the vocabulary to explain. When your seven-year-old repeatedly builds towers and knocks them down, or when your nine-year-old creates stories where characters feel left out, they’re showing you their inner world through symbolic play rather than direct conversation.
This symbolic expression feels safer to your child than talking about problems head-on.
A child dealing with friendship difficulties at school might use puppets to show one character being excluded by others, working through those painful feelings at one remove from their actual experience. The therapist accepts whatever your child shows through their play, without judgement or pressure to explain, which helps your child feel truly heard and understood.
This is particularly valuable for children who’ve experienced trauma, those who struggle with verbal expression, or neurodivergent children who find talking about feelings especially challenging.
It’s particularly effective for anxiety, behavioural difficulties, and helping children process difficult experiences. The therapists providing this support are highly trained and registered with professional bodies accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, and receive ongoing clinical supervision throughout their practice.
Getting Support
Non-directive play therapy particularly suits primary-age children who struggle to talk about what’s worrying them, or who find direct conversations about feelings difficult or threatening.
Your child might benefit from this approach if they’re dealing with anxiety that affects their daily life, behavioural difficulties at school or home, family changes like separation or bereavement, or if they’ve experienced something traumatic.
It’s also helpful for children with autism or other neurodevelopmental differences who communicate more easily through creative expression than through words.
Many schools commission play therapists to work with pupils who need support with their emotional wellbeing. Start by speaking to your child’s class teacher or SENCO about whether play therapy is available through school and whether your child might be suitable for referral. If school-based support isn’t available, your GP can refer your child to NHS services, though waiting times vary considerably across the country.
Learn more: The History of Play Therapy in the UK